Simple With Intention
In eighth grade, my school made a career assessment requiring all the students to write a short essay. A refined version of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I vividly remember answering with no hesitation and excitement that I wanted to be a flight attendant because it was the simplest, most efficient way to see the world." So my love of traveling started early in my childhood.
For years, I've questioned and justified "Why I made certain decisions or moved so many times in my life." Particularly if some obstacles arose along my risk-taking journeys, and ironically, my life has always been filled with unpredictable events and challenges. So I often had a lot to explain— to myself and others. I encountered enough hardships that you'd think would make me want to settle for good in one place. But despite the waves of challenges I had to overcome— ever since I was 16, I am still willing to take risks and stir the calm water to explore and experience more. For example, to quit a steady 9 to 5 well-paid job for the thrill and satisfaction of trying new things and experiencing living in a new place.
Achieving exceptional or out-of-the-ordinary fortes in life requires a willingness to take risks and sometimes unprecedented steps out of our comfort zone. But we all need to be more aware of what humans can achieve through their minds, self-knowing, and dedication.
I recently enjoyed watching a few Youtube travel log channels about people: Making drastic changes in their lives after finding their true selves; Pursuing their dreams; Sizing down, and taking a minimalist approach to life while exploring the most beautiful and even luxurious places— without paying an arm and a leg for it, some with young kids too. A few of them were impressively well-planned. It certainly takes dedication and passion. But, I wonder, what inspires people to do certain unique things, or how do they find their path? I had to dig into my childhood for an answer.
Before migrating from my home country, I had never traveled outside Iran. But I remember traveling to other parts of the country with my family. I left home as a teenager and flew to Paris for the first time in my life! I never went back to live in my country again. Traveling was seeded early in my life, influenced by my father's love of exploring. His room was always full of stacks of science and travel magazines. He was a physics professor and a lover of conserving the environment and biking. My mother, a public school principal, was also the director of our family financially and the primary decision-maker overall. I can surely see some of their traits in me.
Knowing what I know about myself today, I would be more confident and clear about choosing a different path in my life. Maybe if I were encouraged to follow my true strength and passion over being another "science person" in the family, my parents' genes and influences would've been far more effective.
My best childhood memories are of our family road trips during the summers. Even today, my happy place to visualize while meditating is our picnics by the fresh spring water, with the sound of dancing leaves to the evening breeze. My father was taking his college courses in the northeastern city of "Mashhad," near the magical suburb of "Shandiz" and "Torghabeh," where we would enjoy cooler weather. I only remember a little of my childhood, only some segments here and there. But I do remember the feeling of enjoying traveling, the color of nature, sitting in the car's back seat on our road trips, and seeing new places during those summers.
I know people around me happily nesting in their routine family life, big houses with extra storage, and multiple cars and gadgets— not to judge, but still, I wonder why I've never found happiness in those. Of course, one might argue it's a better investment for future retirement. But these mansions are mostly left for the next generation rather than helping themselves retire early and enjoy life at a younger age. Instead, they believe in giving their kids an unrealistic jumpstart while pinning themselves like an anchor to one place, holding on to unfulfilling jobs and obligations. Arguably, doing so will harm the young generation more than favor it. Kids learn better from parents who follow their dreams and show dedication to get there, which doesn't require sacrificing anybody or anything.
I am not forcing the idea that staying in one place is always wrong; neither should parents not provide for their kids' comfort and success. However, A challenging journey is where they build up character and find themselves and their strength. Teaching kids a balanced life, giving them the wisdom to seek enjoyment in simple things, the tools to overcome problems, and helping them to comprehend their passion are more lasting and valuable.
Having money helps, Undoubtedly. But how much is enough? Certainly not to the point that you are burnt out. If you need to learn how to enjoy and appreciate life, having excessive money or not makes no difference.
Pondering upon what made me joyful throughout my life and what allowed me to be myself helps me make peace with who I am and what I want to pursue. For example, I understand why I always want to move, discover, and learn about other colorful cultures. Or why I'm not too fond of clutter and owning stuff because it pins me down and owns me instead. A simpler lifestyle and being in places or doing things that become an outlet for my creativity are far more desirable than having a secure and "predictable" life. To give a visual, I can cut the budget on brand apparel or outrageous items, expensive residentials, or eating out in overrated fancy restaurants, so I can travel in first-class planes, take art or writing classes, or visit as many countries as possible.
Like many, I have experienced long-term relationships, stable family life in suburban houses, and excellent jobs. Still, I wonder if that ever was a true me, even though, at times, it felt like I was enjoying myself too. I realize now my definition of commitment differs from the one most societies represent—which I also fell for in the past. It feels like I woke up from a dream. I don't know if I would change most of it as it brought me to what I know now. Perhaps, in full transparency, I would have pursued my love and passion for art and writing instead of computer engineering.
I love this piece by Alan Watts in "The Dream Of Life." Please find it online and read the entire passage.
"[... Let's suppose you were able to dream any dream you wished. Naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say, "Well, that was pretty great. But now let's have a surprise, a dream which isn't under control, where something is going to happen to me that I don't know what it will be"..., And finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today...]."
It is fascinating that less often, people question each other about why they stay in one place too long or have a stable income and family— however bored or unhappy they may be in their relationships and obligations. But often, when they hear of your big moves or career changes, they interrogate you and have the impression that you are doing it out of being unsuccessful or failing. Not to mention if that decision involves moving your kid/s too. The most common beliefs are the education your children receive in American schools (or equally developed countries) is unmatched in importance anywhere else in the world. Again, we prioritize teaching them more about stability and security but less about finding their true passion and potential. An unrealistic expectation is that every kid should exceed the average, which paradoxically negates the meaning of average, which brings me to another brilliant quote by Alan Watts:
"If you awaken from this illusion and you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death (or shall I say death implies life?), you can feel yourself... "
I attended the only public high school available in my small coastal town. Yet, I graduated from UC Berkeley, a top Engineering school in the U.S. I also worked and made decent revenue in some of the most "prestigious" Silicon Valley companies. In one of my recent jobs, my manager had a degree from a no-name small private university. We both got the same job in a big-name company, and she was my manager. I want to tickle your mind by saying that we all have the ability to get from point A to B, so why not choose point B to be more satisfying to our true selves? That point A could be from anywhere, as long as you know your inner-content self; and are willing to take risks and put dedication.
Every morning when I wake up, I practice my first thought to be grateful for what I have, and as I slowly drink my coffee, I ask myself what I would do today if it were the last day I had on this planet. It helps control my complaints about things that don't go my way. There is only this one life, as we know it now, which is a journey. A short trip that we all know will end someday. Noone came back to tell us what is on the other side, but life, as we live today, is what we know is "real" and should be lived fully.
Planning things with a goal and intention and to your heart's pride is a true meaning of achievement. Approaching life with a purpose guides you through it, and you will find that purpose when you are truly yourself, like a hummingbird who lands on the tiniest flower precisely to get that little succulent drop, the bird's only goal.
Experiencing other cultures makes me selfless and gives me a new perspective on prioritizing what matters most to me. The closer I get to who I am, the better I plan my goals. Along the way, I am learning that the less I own, the happier and less worried I am; of course, that goes for stuff and unhealthy relationships, which is my definition of keeping things simple and with intention.