Accepting What Is
These days, I enjoy walking and hiking more than I remember. I often listen to audiobooks. Mostly from spiritual leaders like Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Ester Hicks, and Dalai Lama, to name a few. I even came across a book, Reality Transurfing, by Russian writer Vadim Zeland, which I thought was uniquely transforming and original. I rule nothing out to remain open to new ideas while remaining detached from religions and cults. I also found more than a few podcasts that I particularly enjoy. The most common points are: Accept what is, let go, and it will come to you, and live in the moment. So I want to explore how to apply these principles to my life. However, the following quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer was particularly awakening:
“Realize that You Are Not Separate from Your Environment.”
Earlier this year, I returned to the Bay Area from my adventurous and eventful trips overseas to establish a simpler and more minimalist life in Silicon Valley. Ironic and paradoxical even as I type these words in a phrase, Silicon Valley and minimalism. I was on and off away, traveling, entertaining the idea of living abroad with my son. But, unpredictably, few obstacles got in the way. So I had to return home and decide about my living space for the next few years. My son is the main reason I came back so he could finish high school here. I have lived in this area for many years. I attended a few colleges, graduated from UC Berkeley Engineering school, worked at various hi-tech companies, and even got hitched in a beautiful seaside town in California.
Since I quit my corporate job more than 2 years ago, maneuvering in this area financially and mentally is taking a toll on me. You can read about my decision to quit my job and move to Turkey in my “Istanbul Endless Nights” post. I wrote that as a diary, and it became a daily blog. I have always enjoyed traveling and continue to do so. This part of me will never change. Coming back home and adjusting to the idea of big parking lots, small one-street downtowns, no cafes or bars near the beaches (for most parts except a few), and driving to big shops for groceries (while watching some in their PJs), are a few examples of things that are to my dislike here. I find these unmotivating. I could also add a lack of culture, which might offend a few. After all, I’ve also lived here for many years, so I am included in the offending list. Why the change of interest? I want my stay here not just to last for another 3 years but to be satisfying.
Maybe I am running away from all the nostalgic memories this place brought me, including my painful divorce. Or lack of interest in corporate America. Undoubtedly, the politics in my last work environment left a bad taste in my mouth. I want to understand why some European and Mediterranean life is more fascinating to me than anywhere I have lived. The fact stays that living here while not working at a high-paid job is closer to financial suicide than gambling. Besides, most things culturally and aesthetically appear dull and not stimulating. How can I be content while living here like I used to? What has changed?
Most people with life routines, family obligations, and responsibilities —including fulfilling relationships, have little time to think about other possibilities. The question for them is how and when and not why or where! Routines felt like death to me for as long as I remember, hence traveling and always wanting to learn new things. In 2003 I moved to San Diego, California, and studied Graphic Design while working with a famous Persian Artist in beautiful seaside LaJolla for 3 years. That was before moving to Denmark in 2006, where my son was born in the summer of 2007. You get the picture. I always welcomed changes, and I relocated about too frequently.
I now listen to numerous self-help books and podcasts to understand how to learn to stay put while harboring a sane level of self-satisfaction. I lived in the US most of my life. I also lived in Iran (birth country), France, Denmark, and England. I traveled to about 30 different countries. I feel confident and even egoistically content that I realize what I like to do in my early retirement. I know plenty of people around me that haven’t figured it out yet. I used to believe I needed a lot of money to enjoy a fun, peaceful, secure retirement. I no longer hold this thought. I am learning that my happiness is the environment, relationships, and people I am surrounded by. As long as these factors are in line with my goal.
Around my area, where I live now, there are a bunch of museums and restaurant bars to enjoy. Although that requires driving, hassles for parking, and an available friend who accompanies me, not to mention the overrated costs. Lack of public transportation and busy friends added to my list of not wanting to settle here. Even the pilates and yoga classes near me, where I can get to —preferably by bike, are pricy with, let’s say, primarily an uninteresting crowd. Overseas, they are more activities available to me with less effort. So the question remains: can I still be who I am and adjust to the less desirable environment?
Coming back here took the environmental factor away. If I cannot be where I want to be for a while, I need to surround myself with activities that mimic the feel of it. Besides obviously spending time with my son, my joyful moments are: when I am out in nature walking, listening to my favorite audio, cooking, learning new cocktails and recipes, museums, wine tasting, watching movies, and engaging in stimulating conversation. I am especially enjoying writing, which is a new hobby. I am active, a foodie, and artsy, so there is still plenty to do around here without spending an arm and leg. I’ve been referred to as a social butterfly, but I think I am just full of emotions and love to express them. I enjoy pop culture, gathering in cafes, and watching walkers. Things to expect in Woody Alen movies, like “To Rome with Love”! or one of my favorite movies, “Vickie Christina Barcelona,” where Juan Antonio says:
“The trick is to enjoy life, accepting it has no meaning whatsoever.”
I believe these scenes are what I like about living in Mediterranean countries, where they work to live, not the other way around. One of my fond recollections is my solo birthday trip to Lisbon, Portugal, where I was walking endlessly to explore the city, eating at small local restaurants, away from tourists, and meeting a small group of travelers in my hotel, standing as some of the highlights of that trip. This reminds me of another excellent quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer:
“We can choose to function at a lower level of awareness and simply exist, caring for our possessions, eating, drinking, sleeping, and managing in the world as pawns of the elements, or we can soar to new and higher levels of awareness allowing ourselves to transcend our environment and create a world of our own.”
I realize that I live from my highest self in an environment that allows me to be more creative. For now, I need to create that environment for my emotions. I read this relatable quote by Clement Stone:
“You are a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your objective.”
There is a truth in contentment when accepting what is, but it is more meaningful to enjoy what is. That does not mean changing who you are but getting creative in bringing a feeling of satisfaction while working toward who you are. Especially when you know the temporary situation will pass, use it as a passage to discover your true self while enjoying life. I am learning to keep my activities and thoughts to the ones that nourish and complement my highest self, even if that means limiting interaction with some people with whom I have remained friends for many years.
I am discovering that my complaints will create no solution but more obstacles. For example, if going out for food and drink is not as pleasant for now, I enjoy cooking and inviting friends, where I engage my soul and buds with pleasure. There is always so much to do. New recipes, new books, and new trails. I enjoy walking and dancing to my favorite music instead of finding myself in a small room full of unrelatable people with odd poses and attitudes. I take frequent short trips. And lastly, I write to prepare for the endless beautiful days when I am in my Mediterranean villa gazing at the turquoise blue water and creating my ever-anticipated book. Albert Einstein says:
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them... If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.”
So I will write about my thoughts until a solution manifests, with hope, happy thoughts, and persistence.
With Love,
PaperWings
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